Stuck scoocher

This is what happens when a scooching baby sits on a lid.

Stuck scoocher from Maureen on Vimeo.

She's been scooching her way around the house for a few months now, but it just doesn't get old. All I need to do now is put some wheels on that thing.*

*Note: I am not actually going to put wheels on that thing.

Man, I hope the jeans I just ordered online turn out to fit

Number of pants I own: 20
Number of pants that fit: 5
Number of pants I actually ever wear: 1
Number of jeans I own that fit: 1
Number of jeans that developed a hole in the knee last night: 1

The life cycle of Tupperware*

Containers with matching lids are purchased.



The lids are removed.



Lids and containers are stacked for easy storage.



Stacked items are placed in the Tupperware cabinet.



The door is shut.



In the absence of light, the lids and containers begin to migrate away from one another. Within a few days, the original lids and containers mate, produce an offspring, and die. Upon death, Tupperware containers disintegrate into a powder which resembles ground graham cracker crumbs.

The offspring is always a different size than its parents; ie, two six-inch circular lids can mate and produce a 4-inch circular lid. Sometimes the offspring is a different shape entirely, so two square lids can produce a rectangular lid. In an interesting twist, however, the most common combination of lid- and container-offspring results in similar shapes but ever so slightly different sizes.

If enough time is allowed to elapse, the Tupperware cabinet will eventually contain hundreds of containers and lids no one can remember purchasing, and none of which fit together.







*With apologies to Douglas Adams

Nora the snaggletooth

Photographic evidence:



Her center bottom two teeth came in first, like any normal baby's. Then her top right eyetooth. Her top right center tooth broke through next, dashing my hopes of a vampire fang-baby. I was really hoping for a vampire fang-baby.

In unrelated news, Nora got herself stuck under the kitchen chair this morning. Andrew went to release her immediately, but I made him wait until I took a picture. You're welcome.

It's a conspiracy

Yesterday evening, Andrew and I decided to institute a policy that I would handle all baby wake-ups until midnight and then again from 5am on, because this nighttime nursing thing has gotten ridiculous. We're getting enough sleep to manage, but that's because I fall asleep in the chair and she nurses and nurses and nurses for HOURS in the night. She's nine months old. This is unnecessary. Lately, she's been waking up lately for a quick nursing session around 10:30 or 11:00 which is no big deal, and by 5am, she's legitimately hungry again. So the immediate plan is to just get rid of the 1-4 am sessions.

Guess what time she woke up last night? Go ahead. Guess.

ELEVEN FIFTY-FIVE.

(I got back in bed around 1:30.)

For documentation purposes

For the past few days, Jack has been going about town with two imaginary crocodiles. They are his pets. I think he got the idea from Dora, Dora and Boots often have to cross Crocodile Lake, and crocodiles have been chasing US for a few weeks now, usually on our way to and from the car. And then sometimes they turned out to be NICE crocodiles and would be invited for lunch or what have you, and then on Wednesday they started to get buckled into the car and were granted names. Baby and Bopie. On Thursday, we discovered that Baby is going to have a baby! In a few weeks! Or days! The timeline seemed to shift! Today I was informed that Baby is going to have her baby TODAY, but that she does not have to go to the hopsital [sic] because she is a crocodile.

It's all pretty adorable, I just wish I didn't ALWAYS have to do the talking for the crocodiles. "Mom, make the crocodiles say, 'What are you doing, Jack?'" etc.

Ahhhhhh!

Do you know what waking up at the sinfully late hour of 6:30am to a gorgeous, warm sunny day after a great night of almost completely uninterrupted sleep will do for a person's mood?

It does good things.