A comment left by Maaaarian on the last post (Marian recently got her very own Ph.D. everyone, so tell her she’s really smart) reminded me of something. We are constantly getting junk mail addressed to Andrew’s father at our address, it drives me CRAZY. I know how it must have started; I think it is because I once used one of my father-in-law’s golf catalogues to order a Christmas present for my brother-in-law. This, however, does not change the fact that my father-in-law does not live with us, has never lived with us, and is not likely to live with us any time in the near future. Nor does it change the fact that my father-in-law was not involved in any way in the actual purchase of the Christmas present. Well, technically he was heavily involved since I had absolutely no idea what the salesperson was talking about when he asked me which type of shaft the golf club should have and thus had to consult my father-in-law, but it’s not like I said, “I don’t know if it should be graphite or titanium, let me ask my father-in-law whose name is R and who lives with us and will be coming with us when we buy a house, so please sell his name to lots of marketing firms.” I did not say this because it would have been (1) untrue and (2) a very very odd thing to say.
I have been rebelling against the junk mailers by writing “NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS” on the mail for my father-in-law and putting it back in the mailbox. That’ll show ‘em! Besides, it’s that or shred them, and we have enough problems shredding our OWN junk mail without adding in the junk mail of someone who DOES NOT EVEN LIVE HERE. (Our shredder is very testy, and gets upset if you put more than a half sheet of paper through at a time and also needs to rest frequently. Once I made it shred a steady stream of paper for five minutes, and it seized up and wouldn’t turn on again for two days.)
My clever plan seemed to be working though, because we haven’t seen any insurance offers for my father-in-law in weeks. But last week, we got something addressed to my mother-in-law.
No, she doesn’t live here either.