Thursday, June 18, 2009

Kermit? Where?

Well I must have been doing SOME nesting, because there's nothing to do around here. Well, OK, to be fair, that's because what there IS to do requires action on my part that I am unwilling to partake in. For example, I am not going to pick up all the stuff from the drawer that Jack threw on the floor because that would mean I'd have to stand up and then bend down. SEVERAL TIMES. So that's out. If it doesn't attract bugs, it stays where it is. That's MY motto.

That pretty much leaves things like organizing photos and blogging, and I finished organizing all the photos yesterday, so here I am. (For real; I made Jack's baby book this week. Yes, he IS two and a half. Your point?)

So. Kermit. I had actually wondered if anyone would ever notice Kermit. (For SHAME, Kristin!) I cut this out of a magazine my first year in grad school, and it has hung in my bathroom ever since. I even bought a frame specifically for this picture, but naturally I bought the wrong size and was forced to mat it with black construction paper which immediately faded to a dingy gray. What sort of dye do they use on construction paper, anyway? Because it fades SECONDS after you take it out of the dark.


It is a "Got Milk?" ad from 1999. My shiny new computer - oh, right, I got a shiny new computer and the battery, like, WORKS and stuff - does not have any fancy imaging software, so I couldn't reverse the image to enable you to read it, but it's too blurry anyway. (Of course, if I were on a fake-science based TV show, all I'd have to do is hit a couple of keys and my magical imaging software would pull pixels out of the ether and we'd all be able to see Kermit's fingerprints even though his hand is turned away and he is made of felt and therefore has no fingerprints. And the thing about all that that bothers me the most is that we would not have to use the mouse to select the area we want to enhance, we'd just hit three keys and a box would show up on our screen selecting the correct region and zoom in. Does that bother anyone else? MAKE THE CHARACTERS USE A MOUSE.)

Wow, I'm bored. Bored and completely without contractions. And typing this free-thinking style, in case you couldn't tell. Also, Jack is napping. His nap today started at 10:30am. Currently, Jack's nap are completely and utterly unpredictable, happening anywhere from (apparently) 10:30am to 4:30pm. They usually last two hours (except for the 4:30pm start time one; I only let him have twenty minutes because I'm not a complete moron), but I simply never know when - or IF - they will take place. On the plus side, though, he just gets into bed and goes to sleep when he's ready.

Oh, speaking of contractions, I agree with you all that she DOES look lower in that picture compared to last week's, but I think it's partly the different shirt. She's been dropping for a long time now. I can tell because I've been walking around for some weeks now with the distinct feeling that a baby is about to spontaneously fall out due to sheer pressure. Also, I have to pee ALL THE TIME but then I go and there is NOTHING.

Oh! Was that a contraction?

NO IT TOTALLY WASN'T. Because I'm going to be pregnant forever and ever. The end.

(Note: I didn't even feel anything, I was just using a literary device to complain. I realized later that it sounds like I felt something and decided it wasn't a real one when, in fact, I felt nothing because nothing remotely contraction-esque is happening 'round these parts. Sorry to get you all excited.)


Amanda said...

GAH! The last week of pregnancy is pure torture! Start with the laps and the sex and see if that does anything.

AJU5's Mom said...

First, I would download Picasa - it is a great FREE photo editor! Of course, the Google people do make good, cheap things!

Second, I hope you survive the monotony until your little girl arrives. I guess she is just comfortable in there right now...

Becca said...

Yuck, the end of pregnancy drags on forever! I'll be thinking contracting thoughts for you.

Christy said...

I am SO excited that I was the first to comment on Kermit! But then again, I have a habit of looking at other people's decor when I should be, you know, focusing on the 40-week pictures. I guess I'm in denial about where I'll be come November...Good Luck!!

Anonymous said...

You have explained the "What?" of Kermit, but not the "Why?"

Dr. Maureen said...

No big mystery, Anonymous, I just like the Muppets. Like, a lot.