Yesterday I dropped the shower head on my toe. I was actually showering with the kids at the time, the better to quickly rinse off the sandbox sand and grass and such after splashing around in the wading pool, so I was precluded from letting out a string of obscenities. And I really, really wanted to let out a string of obscenities. Unfortunately, I was stuck with shouting, in a tone that clearly indicated I was NOT fine, "I AM FINE! I HURT MY TOE BUT IT WILL BE FINE! NO, NORA, DON'T TOUCH IT I AM FINE!" Happily, Andrew was home and relieved me of my parental obligations so I could go pace around the kitchen and swear to my heart's content.
I thought I just stubbed it, but started to get worried when the swearing didn't help that much. Upon examination, I discovered that my toe was turning black. And after dinner, I discovered that the pain was getting worse. Worse, not better! But I could move it, and anyway, they don't do anything for a broken toe even if it was broken, so I was not about to go to the ER.
Long story short, I spent the evening with my foot raised over my head - a tricky thing to do when you are not allowed to lie flat on your back. Neither am I allowed to have ibuprofen, so I was stuck with acetametaphin and ice. I was worried I wouldn't be able to sleep because of the pain, but then I remembered who I am and fell asleep during my very favorite show, so there was no trouble there.
I think the worst part about all of it may be that it was such a stupid way to injure myself. Couldn't I have dropped, I don't know, a soup can or something heavy at least? But no, it was the shower head. And I dropped it on PURPOSE, because I was letting it drain and thought I was holding the hose close enough to the head to keep it from hitting the floor. Also I did not realize my toe was right under it, but I'm going to blame not wearing my glasses on that one. And also, I did not know the shower head was MADE OF LEAD. My word, that thing was heavy.
This morning my toe still hurts, but it's better. I'm still trying to keep it raised, so the initial throbbing as the blood returns whenever I put it back down on the ground is no picnic, but then it subsides to a sort of dull ache that at least doesn't make me want to cry.
But please don't touch it, Nora.
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(That picture does not do justice to the amount of pain that poor toe is in. IT REALLY REALLY HURTS.)