I went out to dinner last night with one of my best friends from college whom I only get to see every six months or so because she has a baby she works all the time, I have three kids and two school schedules, and she doesn't drive. But I got to see her last night! We went out to dinner near her house at a restaurant that opened recently near her house that can best be described as Italian tapas. After perusing the menu, we decided to split the bruschetta and the gnocchi with brown butter and sage. We were particularly excited about the bruschetta because it came with avocado. In fact, after ordering I told her that every time I have avocado now I mourn the years I wasted thinking that I did not like avocado, apparently because it looked weird. I used to turn down the guacamole! Just because it was green! Turns out that my friend did the same thing, so we were really looking forward to the avocado on the bruschetta, if only to make up for the lost years.
We were therefore very disappointed when the waitress brought out the bruschetta with a pile of leaves on it. "I'm sorry," she said. "The chef said that the avocados were too ripe, so he substituted arugula."
Arugula! In what universe is arugula an appropriate substitute for avocado, I ask you? I don't actually know what you would substitute for avocado, but I know that it's not arugula. What was going through his mind, do you think? "Oh, no, the avocados are no good. Oh, man. I have to put something on there. Let's see. What tastes like avocado? Avocados are egg-shaped, have large pits, and are green. Also, 'avocado' starts with an 'A.' Hey! Lettuce is green! But it's not close enough. I know! Arugula! That tastes terrible, but it's green and it starts with an 'A'!"
As much as I love avocados, I hate arugula. They offered to take it back, but my friend doesn't mind arugula so much, and it was easy to scrape the arugula off my piece. So we ordered something else to round it out, and they didn't charge us for the bruschetta, so it all ended well.
Arugula, man. I just don't know.
5 comments:
HA. I will take arugula over avocado any day. Although they are totally different things. (ie: delicious vs. smooshy)
Maggie be crazy.
I think they should have at least substituted another dip-like item. Like sour cream. Not arugula.
The closest* I have ever come to death was the time I choked on an aggressive piece of arugula. I still eat it, but that is just because I like to live dangerously, and I am also fond of leaves.
*lies, but it was very unpleasant.
how strange! I like both, but they are not exactly the same thing.
I once ordered a salad that was supposed to have avocado in it, and when it came, I saw no avocado. So I asked the server, who went to the kitchen, who said they were out. INFORMATION I COULD HAVE USED WHEN ORDERING. But whatever. The real moment of mystery was that the server chose to phrase this as, "The kitchen is out of avocado, so don't worry, there isn't any in your salad."
Don't worry? I ordered a salad that is supposed to have avocado in it. When I didn't see any, I asked you about it. Why on earth would you tell me not to worry? What is making you think I don't like avocado?
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