Just sitting here on the couch, internetting

So about 50% of my laptop battery ago, I got home from dropping the kids off at their grandparents’ house for the whole weekend. Yes, I said “weekend.” And yes, I said, “whole.” As in “two nights.” TWO NIGHTS. Clearly, this is a golden opportunity to get a billion important home-maintenance things accomplished, and so I naturally flopped onto the couch with my laptop the instant I got home and have been here ever since, dirty kitchen be damned. Oh, and I have a bunch of work to do that requires quiet and concentration, so I’m wisely using this quiet alone time to tweet important breaking news like:



It’s true! And you have to act fast, because several of the $10,599 Birkin bags have already sold out! Plus, I am sorry to report that you will be unable to purchase a hideous rocking-horse print silk scarf for a mere $359, as they are long gone, my friend. LONG GONE.

All that being said, I did not drop the kids off for a restful weekend of internetting. No, Andrew and I have big plans. This is the weekend we clean the attic. And as not-fun as that theoretically sounds, I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to it. We borrowed my in-laws’ truck so that we’ll be able to haul stuff to donation sites and I just cannot wait to get rid of 75% of the stuff we have stashed up there.

You may or may not recall, but in January I made three resolutions, and one of them was to have an assigned place for everything in my house by December 31. I am supposed to be spending at least fifteen minutes a day decluttering, and I have to admit that that trickled off by late February, but I did get a lot done. I sort of hit a wall, though, because there are a bunch of clutter-troves in the main living area that cannot be decluttered until the attic has been dealt with, because I need to store some stuff up there, but I refuse to put any new things into the attic until there is some sort of organizational system up there.

See, we have a huge walk-up attic that runs the length of our big two-family, so it’s 1800 square feet of emptiness. And it WAS empty when we moved in, save for a pool table that the previous owners left us because it was easier than moving it out. But it is not empty anymore! Oh, no. It is stuffed to the gills with things that we “just stuck in the attic” until such time as they could be dealt with, which turned out to be never.

I did explain before, but it bears repeating that it is quite difficult to clean out the attic because it isn’t insulated. This means that there are about eight weeks a year during which it is neither too hot nor too cold to spend any significant amount of time up there. So while it’s always possible to run up the stairs and “stick something in the attic” to deal with later, it’s no easy feat to spend a large chunk of time sorting and organizing. And lest you think we are just too wimpy to deal with the temperatures, may I remind you that “no insulation” means that the attic is JUST AS COLD as outside in the winter, and that is usually in the twenties. As for summer, the attic is actually HOTTER than outside because it just bakes all day and the heat gets trapped overnight. Just ask the bird that got in last year and simply dropped dead on the stairs from heat. True story.

So this is the big weekend. The attic will get miraculously organized and I will be able to sort through the rest of the stuff in the main living space and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get this house cleanable by the end of the summer. (Please note that I am not saying it will always be clean, I’m saying that when I NEED to clean it, I will be ABLE to clean it, because I will be able to just put things away instead of standing around wondering where I’m supposed to put all this stuff. Because a big pile of toys pushed against the wall just isn’t doing it for me anymore.)

In other news, Jack’s preschool spring show was today. He was a raindrop. I was almost late, because I wasn’t incredibly early and therefore had to park at the park and walk over, which is actually a pretty long walk. But I did make it, and while he had an initial look of worry on his little face when he couldn’t find me right away, there was a lot of waving and “Hi, Mom!” –ing throughout the show and it was adorable.

You know what wasn’t adorable? Jack’s school sent home about five separate notices about the spring show, largely concerned with the parking. We were allowed to park at the school, across the street at the town hall, and overflow parking was at the park, a five or so minute walk away. It was made perfectly clear over and over again that the police were not allowing parking on Smith St., By my estimation, there were 10-12 cars parked on Smith St. at the start of the show. Sometimes I hate people, you know?

But I don’t want to end on a sour note, so I’ll tell you that I made one short video that will hopefully be audible; if so I’ll post it for your viewing pleasure. But I didn’t get any of the “Hi, Mom’s!” on tape, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. He also gave me a thumbs up after one particularly satisfying song. And I died.

If any of you are still reading, you should go over to A’Dell’s blog and leave a comment telling her that she is awesome and that the baby will come out eventually, because she is approximately 74 weeks pregnant and is understandably kind of depressed about it. And then go drop by Arwen and let her know you’re thinking of her because she is ONLY 33 weeks pregnant (with twins!) and the babies are a little over-eager to make their appearance. Irony’s a bitch, eh?

Twitter is killing my blog

I keep posting 140 character snippets and then I have nothing left to say here. I suppose one could make the argument that I have plenty to say here, it's just that I have lost the attention span to write anything longer than 140 characters, but to that I say... wait, what was I talking about?

At any rate, I thought I'd take a moment to share a few things here that I may or may not have already tweeted about. (Tweeted? Should that be capitalized? What is the protocol?) First of all, today is Good Friday, which means Lent is finally almost over. I am not good at Lent. Every year I try to get something out of it, and every year I end up just fighting the urge to whine about how I want to have some of whatever I gave up. A few years ago I gave up fiction with the intention of replacing it with spiritual reading, but instead I replaced it with television and the internet. That is not better.

I tried again this year and gave up fiction, and I actually did read something good for me instead: A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. I quite enjoyed it, and it made me think about God. So just by that alone, I think this is probably my most successful Lent ever. I try to spend Lent getting closer to God, I usually just succeed in falling asleep during my prayers.

Maggie wrote about Lent not long ago, and I think she pretty much nailed how I feel, so rather than rehash what she said, I'll just send you there and talk about Jack. Because today, as noted, is Good Friday, and it was also the day of the Easter party at Jack's preschool. I was not thrilled with the idea of an Easter party on Good Friday, because... c'mon. GOOD FRIDAY. But it's not a religious school, and since Jack's only four I didn't make him skip it or anything.

But here's the thing: Jack gave up cookies for Lent. He's been SO GOOD about it. He usually remembers all on his own. And I've made an effort to provide alternative treats, but when there have only been cookies, I can just say, "You gave up cookies for Lent, remember?" and he just says, "Oh yeah!" and moves on. But I was proudest of all today when I went to pick him up from school and discovered that he turned down the cookies at the party. I did not mention anything to him about having given up cookies for Lent; he remembered all on his own. His teachers raved about it to me, so impressed were they. As am I, because he's FOUR. So. Sniff.

I'm not even going to reread this post. I have a feeling it's terrible, but I wrote a lot about it being Good Friday today, so I think it's important that I post it before midnight.

I hope you all have a happy Easter.

The Museum… of HORROR

As previously noted, we took the kids to the Museum of Science last week. I don’t know if you know this about me and Andrew, but we’re kind of into science. So to say that we have been looking forward to this trip since Jack was born is to understate the matter. It’s been way longer than that.

It was everything I had dreamed it would be except that we didn’t have nearly enough time to see everything. But both kids even sat through some of the lightning show without crying, instead calmly asking to leave when the noise got to be too much for them. We also saw dinosaurs, model boats, windmills, robots, computers, an enormous model grasshopper, baby chicks, and a bunny, among many other things.

Did you notice how I snuck “giant model grasshopper” into that list? That was an exhibit on how a model of an object can be bigger or smaller than the actual object, and the display contained a huge grasshopper standing over a model train. I thought Nora would like to push the button to make the train go, but I neglected to consider the impression a ten-foot long grasshopper would make on a nearly two-year-old little girl. It was not a good one. Her eyes wider than seemed humanly possible, fixed onto the grasshopper and she clutched my shirt a little more tightly. “I scared,” she told me. “I scared.” She was actually pretty calm about it, but she didn’t exactly object when I removed her to another part of the museum.

But despite that error in parental judgment, Nora loved the museum just as much as Jack did. While Jack and Andrew went to the Omni show, Nora and I hung out in the Discovery Room, a room geared towards little kids, and she was in heaven. They had puppets, and ball coasters; a bunny and a snake; a totally awesome water table,* and a real stuffed bear that Nora got to touch.

The kids have been talking about the museum for days now, and on Friday I decided to make a video of Nora talking about the “HUGE di-saur” and how she “toucha bear,” to capture it for posterity. And that’s when things went a bit awry.

Nora's take on the Museum of Science from Maureen on Vimeo.

She’s been scared of dinosaurs ever since. She ran crying into the kitchen yesterday because Jack was watching Dinosaur Train, for crying out loud. “I scared! Di-saur! Scared!” We no longer talk about the museum, but we do spend a lot of time talking about how there are no dinosaurs here. I drew a “No Dinosaurs Allowed” sign for her too, in case it helps.

But you all saw it, right? At the beginning, of that video, she loved the di-saur. It was awesome! Something just happened in her little brain that got dinosaurs and huge giant grasshoppers all tangled up and equated. I don't even think she remembers the grasshopper at all anymore. It's kind of heartbreaking, but, come on. It's also kind of hilarious.

The new message seems to be sinking in, because today she started to get panicky about dinosaurs, but then told me "No di-saurs here. Not 'lowd."

Too much to say

I have a lot of things to say, but I do not have time to say them right now. Lately, my computer time has been booked up with actual work for my job, so I haven't been able to tell you my stories. So this is a quick photo placeholder until I can take the time to write what I want.

A few weeks ago, I sent Liz some spare cloth diapers that I had lying around, and she sent me a totally awesome thank you gift:



I highly recommend sending Liz things you have lying around the house. The payoff is huge. I'm wearing a scarf she knitted for me, Nora is completely over the moon about the barrettes that Liz made for her, and Jack has already planted that strawberry plant and has been diligently watering it.

Oh, and did you notice? I got a haircut! A major haircut! And completely failed to blog about it! I was going to, but I was so excited about the haircut that I wanted to first surprise my mom and sisters, and then by the time I saw them the novelty had worn off and I never got around to posting the photos. Which is crazy, because everyone knows that if you don't blog about it, it didn't happen. But it did! I got a spontaneous major haircut at a party I went to that had corporate sponsors, and one of them was a fancy-pants salon that I could never normally afford. AND, because I got the haircut, I also won a prize for "Most Transformed." (It was Donna Karan perfume.) It was a pretty awesome party. Andrew won a gift card for a designer tie because he was the only one there with a tie pin, and when we LEFT there were gift bags, and in the gift bags were $100 gift cards towards something from the Donna Karan Infinity line. Which I still can't afford, but GIFT BAGS. It was glamorous.

And now I have to go to bed because I am going to get up for a 5:00am spin class. (And now I've told you all I'm going to do it, so I have to.) I leave you with two pictures from our trip to the science museum on Saturday, followed by the scene that greeted me this morning in the kitchen.











That was a brand new thing of pepper. Yes, I scooped it back into the pepper tin. BRAND NEW. I can't remember if this happened after she painted her tongue, but it was definitely before she ate all the Play-doh crumbs.

Look, I made up a recipe

One of my real-life friends who’s a member of my shared meal-planning Google calendar group (comment if you want in on this) asked me for my butternut squash lasagna recipe a while ago. I never gave it to her. I was going to type it up for her right now, but I thought it’s possible that there may be other interested parties. I’m pretty pleased with this recipe; it’s my own, if it’s fair to call an adaptation of some other lasagna recipe “my own.” But I added the butternut squash, and that’s a fairly key ingredient in butternut squash lasagna, don’t you think? And I think the squash and cheese complement each other surprisingly well.

So here it is, in all its glory:

Dr. Maureen’s Butternut Squash Lasagna

hands on: ~30 min (plus roasting time);
bake ~45 min;
total time: 1hr, 15min (plus roasting time)
oven: 375F

Notes:
I pretty much always use Smart Ground tofu crumbles because I like my lasagnas to be meatless but I think the Smart Ground gives it a nice texture, but the last time I made this I checked the sodium content on Smart Ground, and yikes. So I’m probably going to try it without anything next time. Incidentally, sausage is excellent in this lasagna, if you like sausage.

I usually roast my squash a day or two ahead of time so that I don’t feel like I’ve been making lasagna for the entire day. To roast a squash, slice it in half the long way, scoop out the seeds, and place face down on a lined cookie sheet. Roast at 350F for about 35-40 minutes, or whenever it’s easily pierced by a fork. To puree it, let it cool and then scoop the roasted flesh out of the skin with a spoon. Toss it in a food processor and blend till smooth. I’m sure you could also just mash it up by hand, but I’m lazy.

I use cottage cheese instead of ricotta because I hate ricotta, and cottage cheese gives the same texture, which is necessary for lasagna. But if YOU like ricotta, by all means use it. Same explanation holds true for my using Romano instead of parmesan.

This recipe is easily adapted to stuffed shells; just stuff the shells with the squash mixture, arrange them in a pan, top with sauce and cheese.

Ingredients:
ground meat or tofu crumbles (optional) (see note)
chopped onion, minced garlic, amount to taste (if using meat)
1 roasted and pureed butternut squash (see note)
1 lb container cottage cheese (see note)
1 cup mozzarella plus a few handfuls
½ cup Romano (see note)
1 tbsp dried parsley
1 beaten egg
1 jar spaghetti sauce
1 package lasagna noodles


1. Preheat oven to 375F
2. If using, brown the ground meat or tofu with onion and garlic.
3. Boil and drain the noodles according to package directions
4. Mix meat, squash, cottage cheese, 1 cup mozzarella, Romano, parsley and beaten egg together
5. Spread some of the sauce on the bottom of a 9x13 roasting pan. Arrange a layer of lasagna noodles. Top with stuffing, sauce, and more noodles. Alternate until you have at least three layers or else run out of noodles, making sure to end with noodles. (see note)
6. Top with lots of sauce and sprinkle with a few handfuls of mozzarella.
7. Bake at 375F for ~45 min.
8. Enjoy!

Library book fails, cont.

There are dangers inherent in choosing a book for your child that you remember fondly from your own childhood. I present you with The Travels of Babar:

Spoiler: None of them are yellow.

Pop quiz, Hotshot. It's 7:30pm, and the baby is cranky, exhausted, and ready for bed. But she won't go until you give her "The yulloh banket. YULLOH!" So which one do you choose?



WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?

(And for any smart alecks out there, WRONG. It's not the one with the yellow ducks.)